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Get all 21 August, Yours Truly releases available on Bandcamp and save 70%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Audience EP, August Dies and Loses All His Friends, Carving Board, Bats In The Belfry, Death March, Performance of a Lifetime, Museum (Featuring 4cf, Jona$, and I've Never Been Here Before), Nothing To Lose (Featuring Scoop The Loop), and 13 more.
1. |
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Like a good girl
Wrought through the furnace
Plastic tiara, neurodivergent
Basking in a sea of holy would-be virgins
You are so close to me
And I have not been honest for so long
As I look through you
To the creature on the other side
I may not be proud but I refuse to be ashamed
Lo and behold, my performance of a lifetime
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2. |
If I'm Not Yours
06:08
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So there I was
Standing on a cliffside
My eye wandering over a city full of lost people
Lost souls that never really connected with me
People you feel alone with
And I remember thinking well
If im not yours
What am I?
And it's funny now
But it wasn't then
Everything I did to please those people
To appease those people
A song and dance
A show that everybody knows
And everybody loves
And they applaud
Not because of who you are, or who I am
but because we are the same kind of people
Who believe the same kinds of things
And heaven forbid I'm something different
That there's something at the very center of me
That tells me I might be something else
That I'm not supposed to be here
And if I'm not yours
What am I?
If I'm not yours
What am I?
Well if I'm not yours
Well,
What am I?
What am I?
(what you are about to hear about today, is nothing short of a miracle)
And there on that cliffside
As I learned to let myself live
A creature appeared from the valley
A multicolour vision
With wings like I didn't have
With eyes, reflective and built to last
And I was scared then
But I took his hand all the same
And I could feel the earth shake beneath us
I could hear the voices of those lost souls
I could feel the eyes of god upon me
And I met his gaze
And asked
If I'm not yours
What am I?
If I'm not yours
What am I?
Well if I'm not yours
Well,
What am I?
What am I?
Oh, is it here already?
Some sense of finality, so soon
Can you believe the way I used to love you
But it doesn't matter now
As the ocean levels keep rising
And the audience keeps smiling
I'll continue to dance
Until the end of time
God, I meant to be so much more to you
But look at me now
Thinking about what could have been
What could have happened
All those years ago
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3. |
Easy Listening
03:54
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If youre not surreal
Are you even real
What makes you different
Tell me, what makes you different
Why do you walk like that
Why do you wear like that
Whats your statement
Sacrifice
A brutal display of devotion
The entire thing revolves around devotion and sacrifice
And some things I wonder
Sometimes I wonder
Is there any other way
I crave attention
Brutal display
The animals on the screen
Do you wish you could do the same
I never wanted to be anything less than perfect
Maybe that was something you gave to me
Winners smile, a loser's complextion
Just like the others
Just like the others
Now I'm just another guy
It calls my name
And I feel the same
Do you feel it too?
Dirt under my rotten nails
That ive neglected to replace
Old judgements ive raised from the dead
A parasite burrowing through
My hardened narrow mind
It controls me
Or do I control it
You tell me I can control how I react
Quiet judgements
That grow in the quiet night
Is healing a raging bull
Is peace a quiet observer
Lantern in hand, throat slit bleeding
He knows my name
And the weight it carries
Quiet judgements
That grow in the quiet night
Is healing a raging bull
Is peace a quiet observer
Lantern in hand, throat slit bleeding
He knows my name
And the weight it carries
Heavy sigh
That hangs in hereditary tension
You dont respond
When I speak to you
I dont respond
When you ask me questions
Perhaps silence
Is the final answer
As I listen to your words
They cut me to pieces
But I cannot move
Or even begin to change
I can only describe it as
Easy listening
(You may ask me how I know my god is real)
Years later, here I am
Speaking in tongues of my own
Just a stones throw, home grown
A meager lesson when you grab the phone
(A machine ever churning
My mind ever questioning)
You know you're alone
(And I hold the blade between my teeth)
Butterflies of a certain kind
In highschool art class
I always liked how gravelly his voice was
But I chose a different path
If I could just find the perfect moment
To recede
And show you every single part that lies inside of me
That'd be fine with me (Sacrifice)
There's a creature in the valley
And I want to know his name
He approaches when the sun's down (Brutal devotion to sacrifice)
He's a mirror, we're the same
And I feel like,
I feel-
I really feel like
I'm seeing you for the first time
The first time
Like I'm seeing you for the very first time
You wanted attention
Now you'll get what you deserve
If I could just find myself in that valley
That mirror, that alley
I can hear the audience around me
They demand a good show
And I'll give it to them
I always do
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4. |
Creature Beautiful
03:37
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Break the wall of expectation
and I garentee you'll find something there
I've been moving through rooms like a ghost
Waiting for someone to scare
And I have nothing left
I swear to god, that's what he tells me
And I have nothing left to say
I feign ignorance
God, Thats what I'm good for
That's what I do most days
And I feel the blood race to my skin just like a hermit
Exposed for the very first time
I keep looking for glimpses in mirrors
Waiting for the perfect time
Oh, creature
Is there nothing left to say?
Creature,
I wanna do it like you
Creature
I wanna do it like you
And so I reach out
As a faint and desperate showman
Catching a plummeting knife
You can cut me
God, I know you want to
I'm going to live my life
And so I balance my back to the measure
And I ready my feet on the stage
My performance of a lifetime
It's going to end today
My performance of a lifetime
It's going to end today
Creature
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5. |
In The Reeds
02:55
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And it goes back
Something like a strange melody
I can't place it
What do you want from me?
What do you want from me?
Something in my spirit
I cannot save you, its not within me
But I want you to be alive
And I want you to be happy
And I don't know how to reconcile these two things
If being alive makes you unhappy
If being alive makes you unhappy
They say life is a magic trick
You disapear in a puff of smoke
You release your stress in a puff of smoke
Or so I'm told
you watch videos of sex and violence
because its the only thing your skin can feel anymore
Youre addicted to vaping
You have daddy issues
And I'm here watching the whole thing go up in flames
What can I do to help a dying world
What can I do to help a dying person
A living eulogy to hold hands with
A forgettable memory I can't seem to recall
And here in the reeds
I feel disgusting
I hate what I feel and I hate what I think about
And I think about you
I think about you way too god damn much
And I don't know what to do about it
I don't know what to do about it
Oh valley creature
You're the only one who understands me
How much of myself do I see in you?
And how much of my skin do I wear just for show?
But its the show that keeps me going
The perception, the all knowing
The middle ground that dictates
How you act around certain people
In your bedroom, by the steeple
And if I can control that I can control everything
But what if I'm losing ground
What if I'm losing you
What if I'm losing everything
Something in his eyes
Something in her words
I stop and think
There's an audience behind me
Do I even have the strength to say?
No, no
Not today
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6. |
The Stage
05:12
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And so the-
Evil cycle goes on and on
Do you want your son enticed into the world of homosexuals?
Or your daughter, lured into lesbiansim?
Do you want them to lose all chance, of a normal, happy, married life?
It was a great rush of wind
That took the stage
Took all the ceramics off my face
And I remember seeing visions
Of people that care
While you shaved your head, and I grew my hair
Afraid of the judgement
Afraid of the love
Too many afflictions
Perhaps not enough
And back on that stage again
Imagining strangers
Imagining friends
They tell me, son
This is the end
And I try
To hide
But it's over now
On the stage
I'm saved, but
It's over now
Liar, a liar
Inside a glass box
Is it performative
To change how you talk?
Performer, performer
Unlearn to repress
Is it performative
To change how you dress?
You might not accept
What I haven't shown
You don't need to believe me
Just need you to know
And back on that stage again
Imagining family
Imagining friends
They tell me, son
This is the end
And I try, to hide
But,
It's over now
On the stage
I'm saved, but
It's over now
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7. |
Affirmations
04:19
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You love me for who I am
It's nothing I could help
It's nothing I could change
You love me for who I am
It's nothing I could help
It's nothing I could change (You do love me, don't you?)
You love me for who I am
It's nothing I could help
It's nothing I could change (Well, there'll be others I suppose)
You love me for who I am
It's nothing I could help
It's nothing I could change (Beautiful, and you think that's all that matters?)
(Jack's awfully handsome)
(...Mom?)
You love me for who I am
It's nothing I could help
It's nothing I could change
You love me for who I am
It's nothing I could help
It's nothing I could change
You love me for who I am
It's nothing I could help
It's nothing I could change
You love me for who I am
It's nothing I could help
It's nothing I could change
(You don't seem to understand what love is really about)
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8. |
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My friend, here we are again
Trapped in some reliquary dream
I am an empty vessel
There is nothing left within me
Oh Augustine,
Your delusions
Are so close to me
Sometimes I wish I knew
What you would do to me
Begging for your attention
It's not fair
Your laughter, my air
Oh reliquary dream,
Oh Augustine
How you ruin me
Graphs and kerosene
Oh Augustine, now she knows
You've ruined me
The way they cheer
So desperately
I love the way your touch is always heavenly
But darling, most of all
I love how you love me (I love how you love me)
I love how you hug me (I love how you hug me)
I love how you squeeze me, tease me, please me
Love how you love me
I love how you love me
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9. |
For Just A Moment
03:42
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I kept telling myself
It's just a stage
Just a stage
Achieving effortless fluidity
Not that hard for me, in theory
Beginning to reject modernity
And masculinity, to some degree
I see little pieces of broken glass
That glitter in the light of passing cars
It's beautiful
So am I
Sitting across from you, I have to wonder
Is this the end of all we know?
The moment where everything changes
Spending minutes thinking it over
And years undoing the damage
Could that be us?
This bout of solipsism
Will come to an end
And I will face the judgement I so closely fear
And I'll be okay, no matter what
I will be
But I would love for you to meet me there
And I would love for you to see me
As I am
So look upon me, all you who doubt
And witness my transformation
Witness the end of days
And reject me
Like I know you want to
So I turn to my audience
And there they are
Giving to me what I couldn't get
From you
And it's beautiful
So am I
Living for the applause
An auditory shelter
So temporary
So temporary
But I can stay here for a moment
I can stay here for just a moment
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10. |
Circus Heart
07:28
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And so here I am
Between lights of every colour
Breaking down again for no particular reason
The ghost of an audience still in my mind
And I know you can still see me
But I still question how real my flesh is
How tangible my spirit stays
Maybe I could have done something more
To make you stay
To make you love me
Like I so desperately desire
Perhaps I've overstayed my welcome
Be still, my circus heart
That performs for no one
All the time
Be still, for there is only silence now
And as expected, it's the end
You leave me helpless yet again
Was I a fool for having believed in you
For thinking that I was worth the feeling
Or anything at all
Oh Augustine, look what you did to me
An infinite perfomer
Changing songs like pale faces
Born to pretend
And feel strange in most spaces
Bleeding on stage to be loved and aplauded
Because all I ever wanted was to be seen and acknowleded
All I ever wanted was friends
All I ever wanted
But no matter what
I still remain
And as long as I shall live
Then the show, my friend, must go on
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11. |
Thank You and Goodnight
01:30
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August, Yours Truly Niagara Falls, Ontario
Lovingly haunted
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